To Rip Off One's Clothing
by enigmatic.typewriter
Summary: Never in his wildest imagination, did Neji think he'd have to rip off someone's clothing... upon request. NejiTen. Rated T. Humor/Romance. With appearances by Ino, Sasuke, Sakura, and Shikamaru. Merry Christmas!


To Rip Off One's Clothing

_Never in his wildest imagination, did Neji think he'd have to rip off someone's clothing... upon request._

**N: **Merry Christmas! I'm celebrating the holidays with a series of Christmas-themed oneshots! This one's pretty self-explanatory, and also, one of my first... er, more suggestive drabbles at that. It's really just utter nonsense. Enjoy! Reviews are welcome!

**D: **Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Unfortunately.

* * *

When word hit the streets that Hyuuga Neji and Tenten were officially a "thing", the shinobi of Konoha practically shit their pants.

Naturally, when aforementioned couple agreed to form a triple date with Uchiha Sasuke, Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara, and Yamanaka Ino, Konoha's shinobi really _did_ shit their pants.

"Now boys," Ino rested a hand on her hip, "I'll pick Shikamaru up first, then we'll stop by Sakura's place, and finally, Tenten's. With any luck, we should hope to be at the restaurant before next year."

"... Troublesome woman, you and you're great ideas."

"Fine."

"Hn."

Ino rolled her eyes, "And try to be ready for once?"

"It's not my fault we're always late." Shikamaru grumbled, "_you're_ the one who takes forever to get dressed!"

Ino glared at him, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Are you saying it's _my_ fault?"

"Precisely."

"_Hey!"_

With a sigh, Sakura, who'd been watching idly from her place beside Tenten, stood between the two. Even as an official couple, they still fought almost as regularly as they had before- which really wasn't much of a surprise, though. "Children, please!"

Shikamaru grunted something inaudible, running a hand through his dark hair. "Alright... But I don't understand how you can possibly take so long getting dressed-"

"Well, it isn't as simple as throwing on a pair of dress pants and a tie! And in case you haven't noticed: I have HAIR."

"... and I don't?"

"Good," Sasuke deadpanned over the heated fighting, "I'll see you all tonight."

* * *

"Whose idea was this, anyways?" Neji wondered aloud. Tenten was in her room, most likely getting herself ready. They had roughly an hour before Ino arrived to pick them up.

"I think it was probably Ino's suggestion." Tenten's voice was muffled from behind the closed door, but Neji heard her perfectly fine.

Standing outside her door, he continued. "I cannot believe I let you talk me into... _this." _Frowning slightly, he refolded the dress shirt Hinata had provided him with earlier that evening. Not that he didn't appreciate the idea of treating himself to dinner on a certain Uchiha's likely expense- they were both new to this whole dating affair, and neither one of them accustomed to being chauffeured around. There was a rustling of fabric from behind the door, followed by a tinkle of glass.

"We weren't doing anything, anyways! Besides, it's the Christmas holidays and I don't see you coming up with similar activities." Opening the door a crack, Tenten shot him a mildly defensive look, her dark brown hair twisted into an elegant knot.

"Hn. Are you ready, yet?"

"... Sort of, I'm trying to figure out which outfit is going to work best. With the unpredicted weather we're having, I'd appreciate something warmer."

Neji looked out the window, raising a tapered brow. "It's snowing, Tenten."

"Thank you, captain obvious," she shot back sarcastically, pulling the door shut again with an audible click. "Which limits it down to about four outfits..."

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards in amusement. "Only four?"

"Oh, shut up. It's too late to go winter shopping, and any clothes my parents have in the attic that belong to me, are either embarrassing as hell, or way too small. Either way, I'm not exactly in a "dressy" position." The rapid click-clack of high heels echoed loudly through the wood as she resumed her pacing.

It sounded plausible, though, and Neji fussed with the suit in his hands. "If clothing is such a significant issue... I could have-".

"Nice try, Hyuuga," she interjected, her tone booking no argument. "Just because the rest of Konoha knows we're together, doesn't mean I'm about to take advantage of that!"

Shaking his head, Neji turned to face the door in question. "Don't be ridiculous. If you needed clothing, I could have remedied that." Brushing a strand of hair from his face, he fidgeted absently, still contemplating the high-couture suit draped over his arm. "You're very endearing, you know."

Tenten rolled her eyes, discarding yet another article of clothing. "Uh-huh. Are _you_ dressed yet?"

"I'm going..."

With that said, Tenten sighed, fixating the choices that lay before her with a legendary stinkeye. Various shirts and tops were spread out on the kunoichi's sheets, some ruffled, some sleeveless, and others that had been embroidered richly by a talented hand. Her coffee brown eyes alighted on a particularly extravagant blouse, one that was adorned with lace and ruffles. It had been a gift from her late grandmother, and it looked, in all honesty, completely ridiculous. If she wore it, she'd look like either a pirate or a tavern wrench.

But she _did_ feel bad.

Her grandmother had been a gentle soul, and the gift was an expensive gesture on her part. She'd never worn it, probably because of the sheer femininity of its design, but Tenten felt she owed her grandmother this much. Besides, the blouse (minus all the indecent ribbons, lace, and ruffles) was actually quite flattering.

Pulling it over her head, she shivered absently as the silk brushed against her skin. The garment didn't have buttons, rather a single zipper which ran from the collar to her chest, and was hidden strategically beneath a set of frills. Holding her breath, she pulled the zipper up, cursing a few times as her skin wound up caught within its teeth. She took one look in the mirror and snorted. Though it hugged her slender frame quite nicely, showing off the kunoichi's gentle curves, her grandmother's blouse was hardly what Tenten would have called subtle.

A pirate indeed...

She shook her head, reaching for the zipper only to scowl in dismay.

"Oh, hell..."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, at exactly six o'clock, Neji emerged from his room, fully dressed- the exception being shoes, which were somewhere by the front door. Absently smoothening the wrinkles on his shirt, he knocked on Tenten's door. "It's me. Are you done?"

"...No."

"Tenten, we're going to be late."

"I know, but..."

"But what?"

"Ack. Can you come in here for a second? I need your help."

Taking a deep breath, he entered her room, fighting the urge to laugh as his colourless gaze met her distressed glare. She wore a ridiculously complex-looking blouse with cuffs and frills. She was fumbling with the high collar. Unlike most blouses, which had buttons, this one was adorned by a zipper, and from his view, it looked like it was stuck.

"You have to help me! I can't get this idiotic thing off!"

She looked so pathetically helpless that a smile flickered across his face, quickly hidden from view by a wave of his hand. Approaching the flustered weapon mistress, he tugged experimentally at the collar and zipper, which was caught in a series of strings and knots.

"What... did you do?" he asked, the disbelief obvious on his face.

"I did nothing!"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And what do you suggest I do?"

Tenten fumed, swatting at him in annoyance. "I don't care- just get it off. It's not like I'm suffocating, or anything!"

His eyes widened, and it took him a minute or so with which to gather himself. "I'll likely need to use scissors... Hold on."

"Here" she pointed at her desk, "first drawer to the right."

Wondering how he got himself into these situations, Neji busied himself with the scissors, attempting to cut away the strands of silk and loose fabric. His heart was beating wildly, banging erratically against his ribcage as if it were on steroids. The Hyuuga's face was mere inches from Tenten's, and both nin were highly aware of the other's presence. After a while, he gave up on the scissors, massaging the side of his head.

"This isn't working."

Closing her eyes tightly, Tenten wracked her brain for another solution, twisting to face the digital clock propped against her bookshelf. They had to hurry. Seeing no other alternative, she swallowed her pride, flushing a brilliant shade of crimson.

"Just... just rip it off."

Neji choked. "R-Rip it o-off?" His eyes went to her neck. "Are... are you sure?"

Burying her face in her hands, Tenten just groaned.

"I have to throw it out anyway..."

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Lowering himself to her chest once again, the Hyuuga began pulling at her collar, waiting for a tear. To Tenten's credit, she tried to stay as still as possible, although this was proving rather difficult as each time Neji tugged at the collar, it would cause her to stumble forwards, literally bumping her chest against his face. The phone's shrill ring made both nin jump. Shakily, Tenten jammed the speaker button as Neji quickened his pace, growling at her neck.

"Tenten! Neji! Where the hell are you?"

"I-Ino?" Tenten was just about ready to die.

"Obviously," the older girl's annoyed tone huffed, "we're waiting downstairs. Hurry up!"

"Argh. W-we'll be right there."

"_Hurry!"_

Neji muttered something incoherent, seriously considering fleeing, red-faced, out the door. He'd managed to get a small tear in the fabric, although it wasn't enough for Tenten to slip out of- the blouse was proving obnoxiously strong despite its flimsy appearance.

Tenten sighed loudly. "What are you doing!? Just rip it off, already! Did you loose your muscles in the last hour?"

Pearlescent eyes narrowing dangerously at the threat to his manhood and Neji felt a muscle in his jaw twitch. "You're not exactly making this easy!" With a last tug, the collar split apart, revealing a simple brassiere and a very smooth, vanilla-skinned chest.

He felt an uncontrollable blush surge to his face. Between the frills of the blouse, and her exposed chest, Neji found himself unable to move. Tenten froze as well, her soft brown eyes wide with shock. Coughing apologetically, he released his suddenly clenched hands, from her blouse.

"Oh, the zipper still works. Go figure." Tenten's faint remark drew a long-suffering sigh from Neji who, blush slowly beginning to fade, stooping to collect the frayed bits of fabric. "We don't have time for you to change, although I have an idea."

* * *

"They're late." Sasuke grumbled, boring holes into Tenten's front door with an irritated jerk of his head. Beside him, and looking very pretty in a tightly cinched floral-print trench coat, Sakura giggled.

"Or they could be in the middle of something else..."

Shikamaru cast a blank look at the pink-haired medical-nin, his arm draped casually around Ino's waist. "Girls..." he muttered, looking genuinely exasperated.

Ino was about to shoot back a snappish reply, when Sakura brightened, waving energetically. "Hey, there they are!" she trilled as Neji emerged from the front door with Tenten in tow. Shielding themselves from the snowstorm, they hurried to join the others under Ino's enormous umbrella.

"Nice blouse, Tenten."

Miffed, the kunoichi snorted. "Thank you, it was a gift from my grandmother. I'm glad you like it."

"The tie, too?"

"... Yes."

Sasuke smirked, dodging Sakura's elbow as she turned to frown at him. Laughing, Ino leaned her head against Shikamaru's chest, already congratulating herself on such an amazing idea.

Making sure neither of them were being eavesdropped upon, Tenten turned to Neji, casting the Hyuuga a rueful look.

"Are you sure this looks fine?" Though perhaps slightly odd-looking, the tie successfully hid what Neji's scissors had done to the blouse she now wore, not to mention an equally man-handled zipper, which was once again stuck.

Neji cast her a brief look, his tone thoughtful. "You look... very nice," he managed at last, smirking a little.

Lowering her voice to a mere whisper, Tenten added, "Neji?"

"Hn?"

"When we get home, could you rip it off again?"

"... Fine."

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears.

* * *

**N: **Ahaha, hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave a review!


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